Sorry you are having such difficulties crate training. Crate training is different for every dog. I have two dogs that love their crates and go in without any issues, and I have one that is 5 years old and still refuses to go in his crate unless I have a bowl of food in my hand. He shakes if I just put them in there mid day without a meal. So consistency helps, and sometimes they will just never "like" their crates but will learn to tolerate them while you are gone if they know they have to go in there.
I really wanted to comment on the Thunder Shirt you mentioned. I have a golden mix that was an abuse case adopted from our animal shelter. He had sever anxiety, separation and socializing. He hated being away from us, and even more he feared all strangers and anything out of the ordinary. Very skidish dog.... and the Thunder Shirt was fabulous for him. My vet recommended it for when we had people over at our house. She said something about the tight feeling around their chest and abdomen helps make them feel secure. She also mentioned it is hit or miss whether or not it will work for every dog. Some it makes a huge difference and some it doesn't matter at all. Just my personal experience we loved it, and put it on him every time we have friends and people over. He seems to have more confidence to be on his own with the shirt and over all seems more happy and relaxed. I think we paid $40 for the XLarge we needed on Amazon, so it was worth it to at least try and see if it worked![]()