New pup and an indecisive partner

[LentilBean]

Hey all!

So my partner and I just got our puppy last weekend, August 9, so it's been over a week now and yesterday was a particularly hard day, loooooottssss of accidents on the floor, next to the pee pad (clean dry pee pad!) and my partner is ready to give up and ship him off.... She admits to not knowing how much work a puppy would be but to just get rid of him... it's a bit much. It's starting to strain our relationship as I obviously don't want to give him up! We found a breeder and knew we'd be getting him for a month prior to actually picking him up. She seemed to really enjoy having him but now she just feels that she can't relax, has to clean up messes (she's a germaphobe and can't handle it), can't sleep in, etc.

So of course this is taking a toll on me now because I have a grumpy partner who doesn't want the pup. I don't know what to do, I'm really torn because I just want everyone to be happy but she's insisting that she can't be with the pup around....

I mean, we planned to get him, paid the big bucks for a purebred healthy pup, have started to train him and I'm attached now of course and want the best for him...

Please, any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated

 

[Tgirl]

Are you crate training this pup? I wouldn't train a pup without one.

 

[blushy]

I would crate train him. Definitely.

Getting rid of a puppy because of them needing to be potty trained is a little ridiculous, especially if you PLANNED on getting a puppy. It's like having a child. They start off in diapers...

Sorry that the situation is stressful, as puppies can be stressful, but it passes, and long as you're consistent the accidents will subside. Frenchies can be particularly hard to potty train as well, some train easily, others take months...

He's adorable. Don't give up!

 

[Ralphysmom]

Crate training will save your sanity!! Ralphy is 8 months old and 100% house trained. There will still be accidents but they will become less frequent each week and you must be consistent. Puppies are a lot of work but the work you put in now will pay off very soon! She will come around Good luck.

 

[eeturk]

I would crate train him. Definitely.

Getting rid of a puppy because of them needing to be potty trained is a little ridiculous, especially if you PLANNED on getting a puppy. It's like having a child. They start off in diapers...

Sorry that the situation is stressful, as puppies can be stressful, but it passes, and long as you're consistent the accidents will subside. Frenchies can be particularly hard to potty train as well, some train easily, others take months...

He's adorable. Don't give up!

Agreed. This is a particularly tough breed and it can REALLY wear on you at a certain point. You just have to realize that it's all worth it once you get through it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[French Bulldog Buzz]

Hi and sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation....Your are not the first and not the last person on earth who would give their puppy away because of house breaking.

I really hope you don't do it, as you wanted to have the puppy and spend big $$ on him...

What you have to do is to create a routine for your puppy...I just wrote a blog post about it, and it will be up during the day today...I hope you can read it and take some insight from it...

If you have any more questions do let me know...

 

[French Bulldog Buzz]

Hey all!

So my partner and I just got our puppy last weekend, August 9, so it's been over a week now and yesterday was a particularly hard day, loooooottssss of accidents on the floor, next to the pee pad (clean dry pee pad!) and my partner is ready to give up and ship him off.... She admits to not knowing how much work a puppy would be but to just get rid of him... it's a bit much. It's starting to strain our relationship as I obviously don't want to give him up! We found a breeder and knew we'd be getting him for a month prior to actually picking him up. She seemed to really enjoy having him but now she just feels that she can't relax, has to clean up messes (she's a germaphobe and can't handle it), can't sleep in, etc.

So of course this is taking a toll on me now because I have a grumpy partner who doesn't want the pup. I don't know what to do, I'm really torn because I just want everyone to be happy but she's insisting that she can't be with the pup around....

I mean, we planned to get him, paid the big bucks for a purebred healthy pup, have started to train him and I'm attached now of course and want the best for him...

Please, any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated

View attachment 6691

Hi there hope your situation is a bit better...I just published How To Potty Train Your French Bulldog Puppy - French Bulldog Buzz maybe you can take some tips out from it, to help you with the Potty Training..

Bets

 

[Squishy Walnuts]

Great advice here. I hate hearing that your partner is willing to give up only after one week and doesn't like the puppy. They are babies and need direction, love, training and understanding just like any other baby. I hope she comes around because your pup is damn adorable!

I would also like to add that going to puppy training classes will help out a lot when he's old enough. It's more for training the owners than it is the puppies and I think your partner will benefit from the classes almost as much as your puppy. But make no mistake, there WILL be very frustrating moments with training any dog but especially a stubborn Frenchie. They are such lovable clowns that it's totally worth the effort! I hope she's able to see that once the puppy starts to get older and learn a few things.

Good luck!!

 

[2bullymama]

:welcome3: to FBN .... sorry things are stressful for you and your partner, the puppy phase can be tough.... potty training, teething and behavior training... lots to deal with, just like a skin-kid there are phases. And, PLEASE keep in mind, these babies can be very sensitive, if there is tension or stress, he will pick up on it and react accordingly.

BEST of luck -- the team gave you great advice

 

[Jakeyjake]

This makes me so sad as I could never relate to the feelings your partner has. I was always so excited to get up at the crack of dawn and take my puppy out to do his business and then I loved to watch him gobble his food. They are tremendous work and require some sacrifices, but it is so worth it, at least to me. They are members of the family that require a lot of patience, consistency and love...as mentioned, they can be very sensitive.I hope your partner finds it in her heart to understand the joy a dog can bring into your lives and gets on board with you. Btw, she is really cute! My Jake is a black mask fawn Good luck to you and I hope it works out.

 

[hannah]

That's very sad she is reacting that way to your puppy. Hang in there! It will be the same when she decides to have children one day.

Patience.... it requires work but it is worth it.

 

[Alice Kable]

:smileywelcome: to you and your adorable Lentil. Honestly, my first reaction to your post was keep the puppy, find a new partner! You have been given some great advice on crate training and potty training. Watch for him to start sniffing the floor that is a sign he is looking for a place to potty. Establish a routine of outside potty breaks, and as he gets older he will have regular times he goes. Good luck, he is adorable!

 

[PugandTwoFrenchies]

I totally understand where your partner is coming from (although I never considered giving back my pups when I first got them).

I brought home TWO Frenchie puppies at the same time (they were littermates), and holy smokes... The peeing/pooping in the house was *out of control* for the first little while. I've housetrained puppies before, and you could kind of gauge a routine with them as far as when they had to do their business. Ie: first thing when they woke up, at a certain time after they ate, etc. But with my two, I swear it was every 10 minutes. One or the other would be peeing/pooping here, there, and everywhere, and I just couldn't get a handle on it. The timings were so sporadic that I couldn't predict when it would happen, so I would never be able to get them out in time. (Oh, did I also mention we got them in Feb., so it was way too cold outside still for them to do their business, so I had to paper train them. Not my first choice, but what are you gonna do?)

I'd say the peeing/pooping kind of 'normalized' after a couple of weeks of owning them. Looking back, I think the pups were stressed being in a new home, new environment, new smells, etc., so their bowels were just out of control. Once they got more used to their new home, I could better predict when they'd have to go. They wouldn't even "sniff and circle" before they had an accident. They'd just be running around and then BOOM. They'd squat down and pee or poop. I could never catch them quickly enough!

It does get better. That initial phase of you getting used to them and vice versa is tough. My husband too had way less patience than I did, and I lost count of how many times I had to remind him, "They're just puppies...this is what they do." It had just been so long since we had a puppy in the house that I think he forgot how much work is involved.

At this point all you can do is bring your puppy outside, praise and reward them when they do their business, be as consistent as you can (and know that mistakes WILL happen, no matter how diligent you try to be. Don't be too hard on yourself), and just know that they'll eventually get it. I can't even tell you how much paper towel and vinegar solution I went through when they were super young. Oi...

I remember having the feelings your partner is having when we got our very first pup (who was a pug). I wanted to give him back. I was just not prepared for how much work it was. But once things kind of settled down and he was able to go in and out on his own (I would just leave the back door open), life was great and I absolutely *adored* him. I adore having dogs, I can't imagine my life without them, but oh yeah...the puppy phase is BRUTAL!

Don't even get me started on the chewing and how they've destroyed countless plants and shrubs in our garden! LOL Hang in there! You guys will get through it and you'll be so grateful that you kept your baby. Frenchies are *awesome* with hilarious personalities. Mine make me laugh every single day.

 

[winginit66]

I saw this the other day and just couldn't come up with a positive response for you. So, I agree with [MENTION=10]Alice Kable[/MENTION]. Ditch the partner and keep the dog. However, if you want to give the partner a fair shot, go buy a set of yellow dishwashing gloves or a box of disposable latex gloves and some Clorox spray. As my husband just had Hepatatis A, there are a lot worse things that you can catch out there than something from your dog!

 

[davidh]

Well it definitely isn't fair to the pup, as he is just doing what pups do. They are babies and don't learn over night. Just like human babies don't potty train over night, it takes time. To me your partner should never get a pup and If I were you I'd say "Bye Felisha!!" Puppies can also pick up when someone doesn't like them, so I feel for your pup. He is a cutie pie for sure. If you are going to stay with your partner, then you need to talk to the breeder and let them help you find another home for the pup.

 

[Mavis]

Hmmm, this is a tough one. Does your partner like dogs in general? Why did she want to get one? Her attitudes toward this angel sound pretty extreme.

I don't understand people who aren't totally ga-ga over their dogs, and it is very difficult when one partner is and the other isn't. They have added so much happiness to my life and marriage, I swear, but then my husband feels the same way as I do. Some people always remain lukewarm about them and it concerns me that your partner can't see beyond the poop and pee and be crazy for this baby in spite of it and until she is trained. Is she ever going to bond with Lentil, or is there always going to be "something"? That would break my heart. I had a boyfriend who was lukewarm about my dogs. I couldn't understand how he could think of them as just "animals." They are so far from that!!!!!! After two years I had to say "buh buy." I learned that I could never be compatible with someone who didn't feel the same way as I do about pets because I just love them so much. I would be heartbroken for the dog to witness someone's distain for her and if we did keep her, it would always be a bone of contention between us. You might be better off talking to the breeder and forfeiting her back for a reduced price if she will agree. If she is an ethical breeder, she will take her back in a heartbeat and you won't have such extreme stress on your relationship. Good luck.