shortstuff
New member
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2014
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- 290
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- 11
It seems we've found ourselves in a bit of a situation regarding toy sharing between Shasta and Bisou. You guys know Bisou and her personality, but Shasta is pretty much the complete opposite. Just a reminder, she's a 40 lb shepherd mix rescue. She's very reserved and will spend 90% of her day napping near either Joel or I. They get along great and Bisou has learned to give Shasta her space (most of the time) and they play together at least a couple times a day. However, there appears to be a toy sharing issue developing.
This past weekend (at turd dog Abby's house) our friends gave Shasta a chew bone. Usually, Shasta devours or destroys whatever you give her within 15 minutes, but this time she just decided to hoard it. She took it under the dining table where we were all gathered and would let out the scariest noise I've ever heard out of her any time one of the dogs got too close. Her circle of attack widened, and eventually she was lashing out at any dog within 3-4 feet of her, making it so that none of the dogs could get on their person's laps for fear of getting near Shasta. I got up to take the bone from her since I had enough of it, but Joel said "Shasta never stands up for herself. She's finally doing it, so leave her be." Well... this is true. Shasta takes pretty much any abuse from other dogs, so this was very out of character for her. I let it be for the night, but it looks like it followed us home.
Bisou loves to "steal" toys, whether it's socks, undies, or actual dog toys, for the purpose of playing with them with us or with Shasta. She'll take my newly removed socks and approach me with them, wanting to play tug with them. With Shasta, Shasta will be chewing on a stuffy and Bisou will come over, play bark, then take it and run circles around her or bounce around in front of her. She never actually steals it, rather takes it with the intention of inviting Shasta to play with it. Shasta has had enough of this I guess, and has started showing her teeth and lashing out whenever Bisou gets too close to whatever she's chewing on. Bisou seems to understand and will roll around on her back next to Shasta, and eventually Shasta will growl and walk away with the toy. Joel is still supporting it, saying she needs to stand up for herself... though I've been unsure of the validity of this, I let it go. She does need to stand up for herself, but I don't know if this is an appropriate way to encourage it. I feel like it encourages possessive behavior and I don't want it to lead to food or person guarding.
I'm at the point now where I think his support of her behavior has gone too far. I was just in the kitchen doing dishes and I hear that newly familiar snarl come from Shasta, and I see her trotting away with Bisou's little stuffed animal. I follow Shasta to find her hidden under the coffee table, not playing with it, but guarding it. I took it from her and put it up so neither of them could have it. Bisou got another stuffed animal and was happily squeaking away with it when, less than 5 minutes later, I hear ANOTHER snarl and Shasta trotting off with this toy too. I didn't see the actual events happened, but it went from Bisou playing with her toy on the other side of the living room from Shasta, then a snarl, then Shasta has the toy, while Bisou sits bewildered.
Should I be discouraging either of them from taking toys, or should I be encouraging them to share their toys? When Bisou does it, it's to play together with the toy. When Shasta does it, it's to take the toy and play with it alone, or guarding what she already has. How do I deal with this? It all happened so suddenly, and I don't want this behavior to stick
What do I tell Joel? In essence, Shasta is his dog and Bisou is mine, and I don't want to point fingers and tell him that his dog is being mean to mine and so on.
This past weekend (at turd dog Abby's house) our friends gave Shasta a chew bone. Usually, Shasta devours or destroys whatever you give her within 15 minutes, but this time she just decided to hoard it. She took it under the dining table where we were all gathered and would let out the scariest noise I've ever heard out of her any time one of the dogs got too close. Her circle of attack widened, and eventually she was lashing out at any dog within 3-4 feet of her, making it so that none of the dogs could get on their person's laps for fear of getting near Shasta. I got up to take the bone from her since I had enough of it, but Joel said "Shasta never stands up for herself. She's finally doing it, so leave her be." Well... this is true. Shasta takes pretty much any abuse from other dogs, so this was very out of character for her. I let it be for the night, but it looks like it followed us home.
Bisou loves to "steal" toys, whether it's socks, undies, or actual dog toys, for the purpose of playing with them with us or with Shasta. She'll take my newly removed socks and approach me with them, wanting to play tug with them. With Shasta, Shasta will be chewing on a stuffy and Bisou will come over, play bark, then take it and run circles around her or bounce around in front of her. She never actually steals it, rather takes it with the intention of inviting Shasta to play with it. Shasta has had enough of this I guess, and has started showing her teeth and lashing out whenever Bisou gets too close to whatever she's chewing on. Bisou seems to understand and will roll around on her back next to Shasta, and eventually Shasta will growl and walk away with the toy. Joel is still supporting it, saying she needs to stand up for herself... though I've been unsure of the validity of this, I let it go. She does need to stand up for herself, but I don't know if this is an appropriate way to encourage it. I feel like it encourages possessive behavior and I don't want it to lead to food or person guarding.
I'm at the point now where I think his support of her behavior has gone too far. I was just in the kitchen doing dishes and I hear that newly familiar snarl come from Shasta, and I see her trotting away with Bisou's little stuffed animal. I follow Shasta to find her hidden under the coffee table, not playing with it, but guarding it. I took it from her and put it up so neither of them could have it. Bisou got another stuffed animal and was happily squeaking away with it when, less than 5 minutes later, I hear ANOTHER snarl and Shasta trotting off with this toy too. I didn't see the actual events happened, but it went from Bisou playing with her toy on the other side of the living room from Shasta, then a snarl, then Shasta has the toy, while Bisou sits bewildered.
Should I be discouraging either of them from taking toys, or should I be encouraging them to share their toys? When Bisou does it, it's to play together with the toy. When Shasta does it, it's to take the toy and play with it alone, or guarding what she already has. How do I deal with this? It all happened so suddenly, and I don't want this behavior to stick
What do I tell Joel? In essence, Shasta is his dog and Bisou is mine, and I don't want to point fingers and tell him that his dog is being mean to mine and so on.
