The Sex Debate

[dartnyss]

I keep searching the forum because I know this has to have been discussed more than once in the past but can't find it. If you want to just link me to an old discussion, I totally understand! This is probably going to be long because I ramble a bit...

So I am choosing between a male and a female pup. I was set on a male for a couple reasons. In my life, every male I have had has bonded to me versus my male counterpart (father or husband, depending on the point in my life) and has been more of a snugglebug. Most, but not all, of my males were also a lot lower key. My females seem to always bond to the male in my life and are far, far more independent. My current dog is a Maltipoo (female) and she is an amazing little dog, but has energy for days and wants almost nothing to do with cuddling, ever, with me. She will cuddle a little bit with my husband, but not a lot. I handled all of her care the first year and she still bonded to him more. My male Frenchie was my boy. He loved me to pieces and while he loved my husband too, of course, he was my guy through and through.

I want that again. I want a snugglebug that lays with my on the couch, right on my lap, and gets up when I get up to trot after me. I want that dog that is ready to go wherever I want to go, travel with me, go to work with me, etc. I know that some of that will definitely happen regardless of sex, but I'm just explaining. I want that bond because I miss it terribly after the loss of my Brady. When we started looking for a new pup, we were set on a male for this reason. I wanted a male BMF or cream, in a perfect world.

Well, the litter has finally been born and we have a brindle male and a pied male to choose from, from the boy perspective. The pied isn't an option for me, because it's just not my personal favorite at all. There are six puppies and I have second pick of the litter. When I asked the breeder for advice, she said to a) see how they turn out (since I'd like to show, but getting my sidekick is top priority), and b) open my heart to possibly a female, since she has a BMF female. She says her females are super snugglebugs and love her to pieces, but it is worth mentioning that there is not a male living in the house with her, so maybe this is why they are clearly so bonded.

I know there is no definite science here. I know my mileage may vary. I also know that theoretically I should get a male because I have a female dog at home already. But, I still want to chat about it. What are your experiences? I understand color is probably the least important aspect here. I will be waiting to see how they turn out, structurally, as they get a bit bigger. I will also be waiting to see their temperament a bit before choosing. I will go up in 3-4 weeks for my first visit and will be visiting weekly after that. So this really is just a curious conversation.

Thanks for reading my novel


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[MaplesMommy]

I have a female and we have a 'deeper' bond than her and my partner. But she loves pretty much everybody and Im sure could bond with anyone.

Id personally wait a little longer to see their little personalities come through. Then it might be easier to pick.
When we first visited the litter at 5(or 6) weeks, I wanted to get a male. However after playing with all of them this one dog kept coming back to me. It was a female. She eventually crawled onto my lap & fell asleep. When I needed to get up I gently placed her next to me but she jumped right back up and went back to cuddeling with me. Thats when I made the decision and also for the first time felt a connection with this one pup. At that point I didnt care wether she was male or not. I just knew that'd be the one.

 

[Cbrugs]

I originally wanted a female and I definitely wanted a black masked fawn. I found a girl and then asked the breeder if she had any males as well, just to see, and she sent me a picture of the female's brother and that was it, I fell in love immediately. Jax is my first dog so I have nothing to compare him too but he is the biggest snugglebug and lover in the world. While your heart is set on a boy, you might change your mind once you see the girls!

 

[2bullymama]

We have had four bully breeds in our home, 3 male and 1 female.... exactly what you stated has happen with all of them.... the boys love Daddy, but Momma is there world. Banks, our female, was ALL about Daddy and she could not care any less if I was in the house. unless I had food :stinkeye: I do all the care, feeding, etc, but Banks just bonded with Lewis right out of the gate. All the boys, regardless of what is going on with Dad, they will leave him as soon as they realize I am not in their sight.

I would also wait to see and meet the pups to determine your pick based on personality and interaction on your first meet.

best of luck in your decision

 

[Alice Kable]

Good luck with your choice! We picked Buster because he is male and brindle and he is a perfect fit for our family. Other pups have picked us and that has worked out well, too.

 

[dartnyss]

Id personally wait a little longer to see their little personalities come through. Then it might be easier to pick.

Well, I do know she would like me to choose by 4-5 weeks of age, since the rest of the list is waiting on me. The first pick already knows which pup she wants. So I don't have a ton of time to see a lot of personality.

 

[Jakeyjake]

I have had 5 bully breed dogs...1 male bull terrier, and 2 female bull terriers and then Jake and Stella. My male bull terrier and I had the best bond I thought I could ever imagine. When he passed and we decided to get a Frenchie, I wanted a male again in hopes of having a better bond than with a female. Jake is a love bug. He wants to be picked up and held and is a snuggle bug. Stella not so much. She is still sweet and has her moments but not nearly like Jake. So I am partial to male dogs definitely. Good luck with your decision!

 

[blushy]

I have 2.

Independent Isabelle, who HAS TO BE CUDDLING if she is out of her cage. We call her a traitor because if one of us is sitting, and the other comes and sits, she leaves whoever it is she's cuddling with and "trades them" haha!

Titan is mommas boy. If he knows I'm home, daddy doesn't exist in his world. He will literally slap and kick away from my husband to follow me around. But if I'm in bed and daddy sneaks him out of his crate past bedtime then he snuggles with daddy. But he's so much more cuddly and snuggly than Isabelle.

Personal experience, males are more snuggly, like I can literally smoosh Titan against me and just hold him and kiss him and he just stares at me and doesn't budge... but girls are still up your butt and like to cuddle and be a lap dog...

And that seems like that's most of the verdict here as well.

Exhibit of boy snuggles.

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[Squishy Walnuts]

I agree with Jess [MENTION=894]blushy[/MENTION]. I have had many pets growing up and I always found the females more independent than the males. In fact, I used to have to leave school to take my male cat back home because he would follow me to school. lol!

Uma is my girl, period. We bonded right away and she follows me wherever I go. Uma is a Boston Terrier and is very very active. She's not one to walk over for pets and cuddles at any given moment, but when she's tired enough to have a snooze she loves to be on my lap. If she's not tired you can't even pet her. She will lick your hand and will wiggle out of the way.

Wally, my Frenchie, is my snuggle boy. He too follows me around but when I'm in the mood for puppy cuddles I will call him over and he comes right away no matter what he's doing, even if he's chewing a Himalayan Chew. When we got Wally we figured that since Uma is more my dog Wally would become my husbands but that never happened. Probably because I do 90% of the work with them, feed, walks, playtime, treats, snuggles, etc. Uma also acted like Wally's mom since they are 4 years apart so at first Wally would follow Uma, who was following me. Now they both follow me. I call them my puppy posse.

 

[dartnyss]

I can't wait to meet these puppies! I so want the snuggle factor of a boy but my gut is pulling me to the girl for some reason. Maybe the stars have aligned and she will also be a snuggle butt? Haha...time will tell! Thank you all so much for responding. Their eyes are opening today, just little cracks so far!

 

[eeturk]

Every female we've met has been a lot more independent. Our breeder told us that they don't call them b.... for no reason. I'll let you fill in the blank! However, I think every dog has their own personality and sex only goes so far in determining what they're predisposed to. I cried after we got Hudson because he wasn't snuggly AT ALL. Now at two years old he sleeps on my head every night and I literally can't be more than five feet away from him.


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[dartnyss]

Every female we've met has been a lot more independent. Our breeder told us that they don't call them b.... for no reason. I'll let you fill in the blank! However, I think every dog has their own personality and sex only goes so far in determining what they're predisposed to. I cried after we got Hudson because he wasn't snuggly AT ALL. Now at two years old he sleeps on my head every night and I literally can't be more than five feet away from him.

I spent a lot of time with my last Frenchie and this one will get the same treatment. He/She will go to work with me on the two days I work each week and will be home with me otherwise. I run errands with pup, weather-permitting, and pup goes with us on vacations. I am very involved. I am hoping that will play a role in the snuggle factor of whatever pup I get. That said, my current female (of a different breed) received the same treatment and she really dislikes walks, going out anywhere, and all snuggling. She loves to play fetch, run around the house, get pets and rubs, but never EVER lays or sits with a human. I miss that snuggle factor of my Frenchie so badly...I really want that again. I think the breed is a snuggly breed, in general, so I'm hoping maybe that helps, too. I don't know. It's such a gamble.

 

[eeturk]

I spent a lot of time with my last Frenchie and this one will get the same treatment. He/She will go to work with me on the two days I work each week and will be home with me otherwise. I run errands with pup, weather-permitting, and pup goes with us on vacations. I am very involved. I am hoping that will play a role in the snuggle factor of whatever pup I get. That said, my current female (of a different breed) received the same treatment and she really dislikes walks, going out anywhere, and all snuggling. She loves to play fetch, run around the house, get pets and rubs, but never EVER lays or sits with a human. I miss that snuggle factor of my Frenchie so badly...I really want that again. I think the breed is a snuggly breed, in general, so I'm hoping maybe that helps, too. I don't know. It's such a gamble.

It is a gamble! We pick our second one up this Sunday and had to pick him out and put the deposit down without meeting any of the puppies (wait list waiting on us). I'm nervous about it, but I do think a lot of it is how they're raised.


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[dartnyss]

It is a gamble! We pick our second one up this Sunday and had to pick him out and put the deposit down without meeting any of the puppies (wait list waiting on us). I'm nervous about it, but I do think a lot of it is how they're raised.

That would be so hard! I'm second pick of the litter of six and will have people waiting on me, but luckily I will get to meet the litter once or twice before choosing. They are raised in a home with just the breeder and her two dogs (the mom and a daughter from a previous litter) and she is incredibly involved with them. They sleep with her, lay all over her (both females), and are super snuggle monsters. She feels confident I will be happy with a female from the litter, but isn't trying to sway me either way at all.

How exciting that you bring your new baby home this weekend! I'm jealous!